Boundaries is often an area where we tread lightly! Here, we will discuss the definition of Boundaries as well as where to begin placing these boundaries within our lives!
Hi, I’m Vanessa Ragains, Founder of Be Mobile Wellness, Where Corporate and Wellness Unite! One of the challenges we all face in life is that we have not identified how Boundaries will benefit us. So let’s discuss where to begin!
In my almost 29 years on this Planet, I have struggled with personal and professional relationships because I want to please everyone. Well NEWS FLASH, VANESSA, THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE! Once this was crystal clear to me, I literally sat down to journal about the Boundaries I needed to create. I was stumped for a while, and then decided to start with ME!
Defining Boundary: Something that marks or fixes a limit
1) Make Boundaries with Yourself
I asked myself what I wish was different in my life.
Boundary #1: Get enough sleep
Boundary #2: Less Hectic Schedule
Boundary #3: Be My Own Boss
How can I create Boundaries in my life in order to get what I want?
Get Enough Sleep: Understanding that being your own boss sometimes requires you to sacrifice sleep, I came up with a solution. In order to increase catching those Zzzs, I had to not offer late appointments that would make it difficult to get home before 8. This was tricky at first, because I felt like I was letting my clients down. They had busy schedules too, and wasn’t I trying to be flexible? I sent out an email to let each client know of my new “Boundary” and instead of it backfiring, it seemed to magically work. Clients respected my time and I was able to get the sleep I needed to support my business!
Less Hectic Schedule: In this field of being your own boss as a Massage Therapist, you juggle multiple tasks all at once! Seeing private clients on-top of Corporate opportunities, I have my hands full, no Pun intended! While flexibility is needed in this type of work, I decided to set 2 days a week as my “Days off”. This way I wouldn’t schedule more clients without giving my body & mind a break. Now when clients reschedule, they know when my “days off” are and they respect that!
Be My Own Boss: How is this a boundary? It can be a boundary based on how you are treating yourself! We are our own worst critics, right? Even though I wanted to be “The Boss”, there are still boundaries within that Umbrella that need to be monitored. Time management, Marketing, Knowing when to ask for help, and when to schedule YOUR vacations! For Time Management, there are many wonderful tools like Wunderlist to support all of the To-Dos. Marketing to your audience is key and finding proper content to share shows what you really stand for as a business owner. I chose Everypost for this task. When you are about to pull your hair out, its a clue that you may need to hire some assistance. Whether its an Employee/Contractor or someone who handles your Marketing and Social Media content. It can help lift some of the burden. Lastly, booking vacations or stay-cations are a must! We all need this boundary in our lives so that we can disconnect from our world for a few days or even a whole week. Whichever you are comfortable with, but take the time for yourself!
2) Boundaries with Family
I asked myself where do I need to make boundaries with Family members?
This topic can be touchy, so let me explain how you can begin this process. Regardless of your relationship with your Family, sometimes we need to set limits with them. Some simple boundaries to start with is Communication. Is the communication with your Family positive or negative? Is it repetitive or engaging? Maybe you need to look at each family member individually to see where you stand.
You can also reflect on how your family may influence the path of your business, current relationship, or educational goals. If they share their opinions, this may alter your decision making, unless you can just accept their feedback with no guarantee that you will take their advice. Remember, you are making Boundaries for You, and remember who we started with!
3) Boundaries with Work
I asked myself where do I need boundaries with Work?
Maybe we can back up and ask ourselves what our biggest weaknesses are when it comes to our Careers. Mine is simply that I work too hard, and need to find a balance that will still support me financially. Do you spend to much time at your computer, reading and then replying to emails, scrolling through Facebook or Twitter? I am totally guilty of spending several hours scrolling through, adding comments here and there… Don’t get upset over spilled milk, just set an allotted time where you can indulge in the fascination of Facebook & Twitter.
Look at your schedule and find a time in your schedule for Fun! Mine is Stand-Up Paddle Boarding and Bikram. Placing these events in your schedule ahead of time can also support the Life/Work Balance so that when we are “Working Too Hard” we have those Fun days to balance out our hectic schedule. So work as hard as you want, as long as your schedule time for FUN! That is how we “Set Boundaries” for work.
Setting boundaries will support you in your personal journey. Take these tools and begin to apply them to your life. You will begin to see growth as well as empowerment that is gained with creating boundaries in these 3 major areas.
Like my favorite actress, Lucille Ball has said,
“Not everything that is faced can change, but nothing can change, until it is faced!”